Shanghai Junk

Monday, April 20, 2009

APRIL 21, 2009

As the weather improves in Shanghai, so goes my disposition. Our compound is truly lovely this time of year. All the trees are leafed out, many decorative fruit trees are in full bloom of white and pale pink, the azaleas have popped out in bright fuchsia, the green lawn is being mowed now(smells like summer), and even the birds are singing. Just being able to spend more and more time outside is a relief in spite of the air quality which isn't always as fresh as we'd prefer. But the temps are into the 70's and even hit 80 a couple of times.

We have recently taken custody of Ralph, the canine companion of our Aussie friends, Mike and Ali. Ali has traveled to Australia for her son's wedding and will be gone until the end of May. Mike works long hours and is often out of town. Ralph needs a bit more attention than a normal healthy dog. Ralph, you may recall, is an elderly poodle/terrier mix with numerous health problems (bad heart, cataracts in the eyes, hard of hearing, strong bad breath due to poor teeth) which require a bit more TLC than what would be normal. But he's good company for me during the day, and the added walks in our lovely gardens is improving the outlook of us both (me and Ralph, that is ..... and surely Randy is happier that he's coming home to a smiling spouse). Ali does not return to Shanghai until the end of May so we may have Ralph for quite a while other than a weekend trip to Xi'an that we have scheduled for weekend after next (hopefully Mike can take him home for a few days at that point as I really HATE the idea of Ralph in a kennel here .... he needs a "doggy" nursing home really).

Randy and I have resumed our usual culinary adventures within the last few weeks. On Easter, we had a lovely brunch at a large German restaurant called Paulaner with five other expats. It reminded us an awful lot of home with it's Bavarian design and architecture, the Chinese waitresses outfitted in dirndls. Paulaner had a beautiful buffet set up for the Easter crowd including a little pint-sized buffet for the children which was attended by the Easter Bunny and Minnie Mouse (flown in special from Disney World just for the occasion). It was a hot sunny day which saw the seven of us starting out at a picnic table outside in a lovely garden. Eventually though, the three bald men among us started getting burned domes so we moved inside to avoid further discomfort. Closer to the food anyway which I have to say was outstanding and plentiful. And the beer was half off all day which went a considerable way towards cooling us sufficiently.

We spent the remainder of our Easter holiday strolling the streets of the French Concession (which is the main location of Paulaner) enjoying the nice weather. We stopped at an open air tavern for drinks, and eventually landed at a new bar on the Hong Mei Lu pedestrian street called JJ's where Randy and Alan played a few rounds of billiards. Our Easter was topped off by massages at Dragonfly. After having very full tummies, numerous steins of beer, and a lovely relaxing massage, we were ready to fall into bed .... sufficiently sated and sedated!!

This past Friday, Randy and I were discussing our usual TGIF excursion to a restaurant, and contemplated our options. He reminded me that we hadn't yet tried Le Midi, a recently opened French restaurant which is owned by the former manager of Cafe Montmartre, one of our favorites. It is also located at the Hong Mei Lu pedestrian street (there must be 40 or 50 restaurants on this street of various ethnicity ..... and mostly excellent too) so we decided to give it a go. Le Midi is a very lovely French establishment and the owner did an excellent job of replicating a Parisian cafe in style and ambiance (well, he SHOULD .... he's quite French!!). The walls were painted a lovely bird's egg blue, the upholstery and bar were rich shades of dark reds and plums, the white linens and silver framed mirror reflected the flickering candles and the gleam of the (unfortunately fake) fireplace. Even the soothing string and accordion music transported us to Gay Paree while the excellent wait staff attended beautifully to our every desire.

We started with a "melt in your mouth" Foie Gras mousse which could be eaten with a spoon or spread on the fresh bread placed on the table as a starter. We split a salad of goat cheese and walnuts on a lovely bed of red and green lettuce leaves. Randy had salmon in parchment and I ordered chicken with garlic and olives .... both excellent!! All of this was of course accompanied by an exquisite chardonnay. Dessert was a baked apple with ice cream for Randy, and chocolate mousse for me ... wonderful!! Le Midi was just a tad pricier than we expected but also rose to the challenge of the prices. Someplace great for a special evening.

After dinner at Le Midi, we decided upon a nightcap at JJ's again. I'm sure Randall thought he might engage in a bit of pool but the table was quite busy that evening. Randy ordered a beer and I ordered a White Russian, somewhat risky as often these fancier drinks provide a challenge for the Chinese baristas. I was correct to worry. They had gotten the Kahlua and vodka over ice just fine which just about half filled the glass. But the top half of the glass was filled with whipped heavy cream. Randy and I looked at each other and laughed .... yes, always an adventure here!! Well, I stirred it up as best I could and it tasted pretty good really, other than the fact that the drink had big globs of cream floating on it which refused to dissolve in spite of vigorous stirring. Well, it WAS appropriate as a dessert drink, I guess.

Our friends Larry & Therese had heaped praise on a newer, upscale Mexican restaurant they'd frequented recently called Maya. So with Therese's assistance, we made arrangements for nine of us for Saturday evening. Maya is also located in the French Concession, actually tucked away inside the grounds of a lovely expat compound (I think it's called the Shanghai Grand Plaza). The cobblestone walkways of the area reminded me quite a bit of something European. Maya is on the second floor of the building it occupies. The atmosphere and design were very Latin in nature and was truly creative with the use of candles and lots of colorful tiles. We were seated at a large oval table and immediately served pitchers of sangria and margaritas along with excellent (and spicy) guacamole to whet our appetites.

Maya has quite an extensive menu of appetizers, designer tacos, ceviches, and main dishes ... so much so that most of us had a really hard time trying to decide, and much discussion was needed before decisions could be made. Obviously, this led to adequate consumption of libation in the meantime. Larry & Therese proclaimed the fish tacos to be "out of this world" but fish was only one out of nine varieties of taco which could be ordered individually or in "mix & match" sets of three. There were tacos of beef, pork, chicken, fish, beef tongue, bean, and a few that I cannot remember. Some folks ordered a taco appetizer, and then sets of three for their main meal. Also there was quite a list of ceviches on the menu ..... snapper, shrimp, crab, squid, talapia, among others. Each was prepared with a different fruit and/or herb combination which made it hard to decide.

I chose the snapper with mango and cilantro ceviche and a chicken mole (spicy chocolate sauce) for my main entree ..... both exceptionally yummy and quite spicy. Randy got the three tacos which were as good as described. Dessert was a coconut flan (served in a half coconut) with an almond cookie. I was full, happy, and just the slightest bit tipsy from the ever-flowing sangria which seemed to magically fill my glass all evening. Other than the fact that it was quite noisy for conversation (which I attribute to the fact that the kitchen is open to the dining area making for a very efficient process but also contributing greatly to the noise factor), the service was excellent and the food delicious!! Another successful culinary experience!

Being as the weekend seemed to be devoted to eating (and the fact that we missed Sunday breakfast due to maintenance men coming to our apartment to repair the aforementioned leaky toilet), we decided to take our lunch on Sunday at a place on Hong Mei Lu called Johnny Moo's, a classic American style diner. I hope my doctor doesn't read this blog because he'll flip when he hears we had burgers, fries, and milk shakes ..... definitely NOT on my cholesterol lowering diet!!! All in all, it was an excellent treat. The bun was toasted just a little beyond gently but other than that, it was a much desired taste of home for us.

We continued down the road to City Shop to pick up the ingredients for a small pizza party we'd planned for later in the day. Our Chinese friends, Wind & Nicole, were coming over for a lesson in American pizza assembly. Wind had visited Michigan for some training while an ADS employee and had a taste of American pizza which he found to his liking. Pizza is readily available in Shanghai but is usually disappointing ... at least to those of us pining for American pizza. The sauce is normally nonexistent here or more on the order of tomato soup which makes for a rather bland pizza. You may remember me talking about the first pizza we ordered here .... two pieces each with one item instead of the items being spread over the entire pie. Funny!

Wind & Nicole showed up with a bottle of rice wine to contribute to the party, and we'd already chopped ham, onion, red pepper, mushrooms, and pineapple to assemble four pizzas, two large and two small. Randy and I have discovered a Mediterranean bakery that has something very close to pizza crusts in two sizes. They are still rather "doughy" so they withstand the baking to make very nice pizza. Sauce and mozzarella cheese can be obtained at the City Shop, and the rack that goes inside our combo oven (microwave and convection) is handy for baking two pies simultaneously.

We let Wind & Nicole assemble the pizzas while we supervised, poured drinks, and put on some music. While the pizzas baked, we discussed the particulars of Nicole's pregnancy. Wind & Nicole are expecting their first child in June, just a few weeks away, and had just spent the day at the hospital where an ultra sound was performed, and pre-arrangements were made for the big arrival.

While we consumed pizza and rice wine (Nicole stuck to Sprite), we chatted about Wind & Nicole's contribution to our cultural exchange. We will meet again soon so that they can teach us how to make Chinese dumplings, something we love and order often in restaurants, but haven't learned to make for ourselves yet. Also, there are still a few Chinese vegetables which have piqued our interest but for which there doesn't seem to be an American equivalent. So Wind & Nicole are going to tutor us about some of these indigenous Chinese vegetables. We had to laugh though because whenever we ask them how to prepare these vegetables, the answer is always the same .... clean (or peel) them, cut them up, and fry them in oil. Wind said, "Always same three steps ... clean, cut, fry!" I think we can remember that.

I've been trying to be more diligent (and enduring) on the treadmill in the gym lately (and my doctor WILL approve of this) as eating seems to be our activity of choice lately. Well, as I've mentioned previously, we have SO many excellent places from which to choose and we'd hate to miss ANY of them!! We may try a Chinese seafood place that is a short walk from our compound with Wind & Nicole soon. It has 15 or 20 aquariums outside on the sidewalk just outside the front door where you can pick out your main course before you even enter the dining area ..... sure to be another amazing gastronomic adventure!! I'll be sure to bring you up to speed on that.

Bon appetit, for now!

Thursday, April 09, 2009

APRIL 10, 2009

I have been struggling about the next blog post because what I am inspired to write about lately is the negative and emotional "down sides" to living in China. I had always hoped to post about our adventures in a positive, upbeat manner (because an optimist is I what I have always considered myself to be .... "Find the good in everything" was the advice given me by the matriarchs in my life). But the truth is that I find myself somewhat cynical and intolerant lately. So after mentally debating writing about this for a couple of weeks, and realizing that this is indeed quite realistic in terms of an expat's experience in China, I decided to push forward with the airing of my thoughts. Who knows? Maybe it will give me an outlet for releasing some tension ..... a literary "pillow punching" event, if you will. So here goes.

There does seem to be a continuum in terms of a Western person's tolerance for living in China. As with everything in life, everyone's perspective is viewed through glasses tinted by a person's life experience and education. And living here is no different. I am familiar with couples who moved to Shanghai over 15 years ago, consider it their permanent home, and could think of no other way to spend their lives. Conversely, I also know of wives that came here due to their husband's employment situation (much like mine) and being paralyzed by fear, could not bring themselves to leave their apartment. Unfortunately, some of those wives eventually told their husbands, "Sorry, I'm outta here!!" At which time, those marriages became long distance relationships .... a hardship to be sure.

To be honest, the first year of living here seemed like an extended vacation. I looked at the experience from the perspective of a small child .... everything here was new, exciting, a little scary, and a tremendous opportunity for growth. I won't say that I leaped into the adventure with total abandon. It was with more than a little trepidation that I took those first steps outside of our compound, tried to purchase fruit from the local vendors, got a haircut, learned Tai Chi, and struggled to understand and make myself understood with fledgling Mandarin swimming in my head.

Eventually, wonder gave way to a certain amount of frustration while attempting to carve out a life here. It IS comical the first time you have a meal with a group of people and none of the meals come out of the kitchen at the same time. After a while, it becomes obvious that (at least in a primarily Chinese kitchen), they prepare the meals which are the simplest (and with which they are most familiar) first, leaving the most complicated for last (maybe hoping that the customer will ultimately change their mind?). But the tenth time it happens, it's no longer as humorous. Getting a cold beverage, or even obtaining ice, can be near or next to impossible. The lack of respect for personal space, or manners regarding the simplest things such as forming a line into a queue, or allowing riders off the elevator or subway before attempting to enter are absolutely nonexistent. Everyone who hasn't lived under a rock the last twenty years has heard about the lack of quality and attention to detail of most products and services in China .... these stories are not exaggerated. And don't even get me started about the chaotic traffic and total lack of patience and courtesy exhibited by Shanghai drivers ..... not only is it nonexistent, it's downright dangerous!! There is only one traffic law in Shanghai .... the rudest and most aggressive driver has the right of way be it vehicular or pedestrian traffic making for incredibly obnoxious driving habits (and terrifying riding experiences!). If I were to own any kind of business here, it would an automotive horn repair shop. It's the part on a vehicle that gets the most use, and it's used constantly to excess!!

Trust me, I could go on and on. So here's a warning, I just MIGHT!!! Whenever two or more expat women are assembled, the topic of conversation for the majority of the meeting will be the frustrations of trying to slog our way through life in a third world nation. MOST of the time, we manage to laugh about it. We all share our seemingly never-ending horror stories, and surprisingly, so is our amazement (never-ending, that is). A good friend, Therese, put it quite poetically in my opinion. We expats are all like onions when we come over here, thick skinned, freshly plucked from the fertile earth with just a bit of dirt left to protect us from the outside world, juicy and resilient on the inside. But as we face more and more frustration on a daily basis, slowly but surely, layer upon layer erodes, leaving us somewhat hard, dried up and a bit raw from wear .... as well as less acceptable for use in the "civilized" world.

It is a conundrum to me how people who have been raised in what is supposed to be the best working example of communistic theories (that theory being everything, everywhere is always for the good of the people) that everyone seems to be out for themselves without regard or compassion for their fellow man! Never have I seen a place where cheating or deception for your own gain is not only accepted, it is EXPECTED!!! Forget "all for one, and one for all." Here it's "eat or be eaten," "I'll get mine before somebody else does," "survival of the fittest (or the fastest or rudest or strongest)," and especially .... "if you have it and I want it, I'll simply take it." There does seem to be a serious lack of integrity in most business dealings which breeds suspicion like crazy ..... see, it's even affected ME, the biggest Pollyanna of all time!!

Randy and I were the recipient of our first counterfeit currency last week, a 20 rmb bill which we believe we received in a transaction with a taxi driver. Honestly, we're extremely lucky that we haven't had this experience heretofore because most expats with whom we are familiar have had to deal with this multiple times. I suppose if this were to occur in the states, we'd be appalled, hand the offending bill over to the authorities, and retribution would be sought against the criminal. What did we do? We continued to try to pass it on until some less experienced person (a different taxi driver, in this case) unwittingly took it off our hands. And we didn't feel the slightest guilt about it .... well, OK, maybe a little or else I might not be writing about the event.

I no longer have qualms about barging OUT of the subway or elevator, almost knocking down the clamoring throngs that are more than willing to push me out of the way to get inside. I willingly walk out into the crosswalk (only AFTER I see the little green "walk" guy on the traffic signal) and hold up my hand firmly in front of the drivers who act like "If I do not see you, then you don't exist." I relayed the story to my mother the other day about one of these drivers that did indeed almost hit me at which point I held my hand a little higher, a little firmer, put on my best "mad" expression as I spun on my heel to face him, and yelled, "HEY ... STOP!!" (in English, silly me!). Of course, he had already stopped, but he reminded me of my dog when I scold her .... looked out the window in order to avoid acknowledging his ineptness by looking at me directly (that blasted "saving face" thing!). I know .... I have to stop that. Going to get myself killed.

We have been ignored at the Dairy Queen counter because the employees were afraid they'd have a hard time communicating with us (well, we're afraid of that sometimes too, but at least we try!!). We are often overcharged for items when shopping because the local thought is "if they are NOT Asian, then they are wealthy" and they feel completely justified in trying to get more money from us than their fellow Shanghaiese. I have learned to say in Mandarin the phrase, "I live in Shanghai." (or to be more exact, "I am a Shanghai person.") in order to be given the same price as a local person. Our sleeves are tugged incessantly in some parts of town by people selling trinkets (junk) or beggars who carry children to make you feel more sorry for them. Or worse yet, there are the shoe shine guys that squirt some kind of paste on your shoes which must then be cleaned off, and then they feel justified requesting a donation because of course they have just shined your shoes!!

One of the biggest complaints of expat women is the lack of significance given their requests for service of any kind. Most of us expat woman here are not working outside the home, and are here in support of their husband's career. As such, we try not to bother our husbands with mundane and lengthy "honey-do" lists which can be accomplished by the maintenance staff in our various compounds in which we live. The problem is that requests made by women are either totally ignored or serviced quickly and sloppily (LOTS of jerry-rigging going on over here) in order to placate said women as easily as possible. Typically, any request for service is made three times or more before it is given any consideration whatsoever. Currently, we have a slow leak from our toilet (which is rapidly becoming a fast leak). I have no doubt whatsoever that MY request for service would result in the gift of a hand towel with which to mop up the bathroom floor. So I have asked Randy to call the landlord who is WAY more likely to see some kind of satisfactory result than MY request would elicit.

This is very curious to me because in every other part of China, the idea of women in Shanghai is one of dominance, force, ambition, manipulation (she wears the pants in the family so to speak), etc. In fact, it's a bit of an insult to be called a Shanghai woman if you happen to live in, say Beijing. And most Chinese men treat other Chinese women here with respect and even reverence. We laugh about the number of Chinese men we see here who carry their wives' handbags for them (and for the life of me, I can't understand why Randy won't do this for me!!). But for some reason, we expat women are just so much fluff and as such, can be completely disregarded without consequence. Most of us surrender those requests to our husbands as we know action will be taken as a result. I DID warn you I'd be going on and on, didn't I?

Well, suffice it to say that we may be becoming hard, dry, little onions these days. And maybe me more so than Randy. I believe some of my lack of tolerance is due to the fact that there are some major life activities going on in the lives of our kids stateside. My son, Jake, had his senior prom last week which I would have loved to have seen (well, at least his tall, handsome frame in a tuxedo standing next to his beautiful date). I have a nephew being confirmed at church, as well as representing his school in a statewide geography bee, and playing first chair trumpet for his school concert. My folks are dealing with the disposition of the estate of my recently deceased grandmother, and I'm certain I could of assistance if I were on hand. A big family party was thrown for a relative who turned 50 years of age. So many things happening that we cannot be a part due to our need to live on the other side of the planet. All this may play a role in my inability to cope well these days.

But I think my biggest beef about living in Shanghai is environmental. The haze floating in the air never really clears completely, even on a sunny day. Due to constant construction, street maintenance, huge street sweeping machines (which do nothing but throw dust into the air), and the tremendous amount of traffic, the volume of particulate in the air is nose clogging, throat burning, and tear producing. I have taken to wearing sunglasses most of the time outside (even when it's cloudy) because it offers minimal protection against the stuff that seems to always get into my eyes whenever we go out on the street. One cannot open a window for a few hours without having to clean the entire apartment completely due to the dust that settles onto every surface. Lighter colored clothes become dark and dingy after being worn outside here just a few times (even after laundering .... and you've already read about my constant laundering activity due to microscopic washing and drying machines). Locals here have no qualms about dropping their garbage anywhere on the street because there are entire armies of people hired to do nothing but pick up crap off the streets ..... but there is so MUCH garbage and they are so ill-equipped that their efforts are a virtual drop in the waste basket. We are coming into what Randy affectionately calls the "smelly season." Not that it isn't smelly most of the time (often we awake to what I call the "foundry" smell having grown up in a small community that included an iron casting foundry so I am quite familiar with that aroma ... which I believe is due to coal burning to produce the majority of China's electricity) but as it begins to warm up, the very ripe smell from the sewers running under the streets becomes almost intolerable.

Well, we have travel plans for later in May to attend graduations, see to some personal business, and hopefully recharge our sorely depleted batteries so that we can face life in Shanghai again with smiles on our faces. Lord knows, this onion needs to get planted in some clear air and sunshine so that she can re-bloom green and fresh, and once again face life with a more tolerant and pleasant attitude. I promise to return to more positive postings, but for now, thanks for letting me vent. I feel better already.