ANGELIE
When I first contemplated an entire post devoted to Angelie, I worried I might not have enough information on the subject. Well, the longer we know Angelie, the less that is an issue. She certainly is a marvel of a person of ANY nationality!!
Where should I start in my accolades of Angelie. First off, Angelie took it upon herself to take on additional duties while I was away in the states with very little prompting. That is to say, some of things I normally do that are not part of her weekly routine were accomplished. We only had brief discussions about this before I left for the Thanksgiving holiday but she is so smart and quick that I really needn't have worried. Bed linens were laundered and changed, Randy's laundry was washed, ironed (I hate ironing!!), and put away in the correct places. Plants were watered, turned, trimmed, and given loving care. But best of all, nothing was missing!!! For me, this was the true test of character. It does seem normal practice to discover items missing after having an ayi for a certain period of time. But no worries with Angelie. She is about as honest a person as I've met.
Shortly after Christmas, Angelie presented me with a grocery list. "Please obtain items, and I will make dumpling for you and boss." OK. This piqued my interest because Angelie's dumplings are legendary among her clients. And we had yet to experience this culinary delight. She'd even gone to the trouble of writing down some of the ingredients in Chinese (both characters AND Pin yang) so we would be sure to get the correct items in the correct quantity.
Randy and I took off on foot on a Saturday morning to the wet market across the street. Other than the meat (which CAN be obtained at the wet market but we're a little leery of the open tables of meat that are pawed through by people and pooped on by flies all day), we could get everything we needed there (carrot, mushroom, cilantro, leek, chives). Picked up the meat later (dumplings can be made with chicken, pork, beef, or shrimp ... or can be meatless too) at the City Shop and we were good to go. Angelie had left instructions that I should let her know when the ingredients were obtained because maybe she'd come sooner than her normal Tuesday morning to make the dumplings. So I sent a text message. She said she'd come an hour early on Tuesday. I started thinking, "Gosh, she already comes at 7:15 AM." And given the fact that she comes from a great distance, she'd have to get up in the middle of the night to get here that early.
So I sent her a message to come on Monday evening after work and just spend the night in our guest room. OK, this would be fine. Around 7:30 on Monday, I received a text that she would be later than expected because her bike was stolen. Oh, I was SO mad!! Angelie is such a good person, works so hard, and is MOST honest, and of course SHE is the one to have her bike nabbed. After Angelie arrived, we chatted about the bike situation. She said she always locks her bike by the guard shack at this particular location where she works three days a week, feeling that this is probably the most safe area. Of course, she asked the guards if they knew of the whereabouts of her bike. The answer was that it was NOT their responsibility to look after her bike! Of course.
To be honest, it seemed I was more distressed about this than Angelie. She is just the most pleasant, serene, and caring person I have ever met. I kept going on and on about how unpleasant this situation was for her, and she was completely calm about the entire thing. Randy and I discussed helping her out with another bike which was rejected entirely. No, Angelie had an old bike that might need some repair, and that would have to do. I told her we'd pay to have the old bike repaired. "We'll see," was the reply.
On Tuesday morning, about 8 boxed servings of dumplings were sitting in our freezer after about an hour's work. Again, I offered extra money for her efforts .... NO WAY!! "I love making dumpling!! I love for you enjoy them!!" Randy fried them with some rice and vegetables later for dinner .... as Rachel Ray would say, "YUMMO!!!" They were certainly up to the hype! We had them again a few days later as part of the chicken vegetable soup Randy made that weekend.
The next Tuesday, Angelie arrived promptly as usual bundled up so as to look like the Pillsbury Doughboy or the Michelin Man. It's been brutally cold here lately (two nights ago, the low was 17 which is the lowest I've seen it since being in Shanghai). But Angelie's sunny disposition warmed the room immediately. Her first announcement warmed us even further .... the bike was returned to her!! Apparently, it was found in the garden area of the compound from whence it was stolen. She figures that the thieves couldn't finagle a way past the guard shack so decided to abandon it. In the meantime, she HAD gotten the old bike repaired, so now she has back-up. Great news!!
Well, I'd had a rough night. Not sleeping well, up and down, finally taking a sleeping pill which did the trick. But of course, waking up in the morning was an issue. Angelie watched me pad around the apartment a bit, and when I came past her to get a cup of coffee, she removed her hands from the sink full of suds and dried them off. She then took the cup from me and took one of MY hands, and led me to the sofa where she instructed me to sit down. I sat. She then proceeded to start massaging my neck, shoulders, and back. Oh .... groan!! I mean groan in a GOOD way!! I asked Angelie where she learned to do this. She said, "I read books. I even take test." I think to myself why isn't she working as a masseuse but then realize that taking care of people she loves (and Angelie always seems to grow to love her employers) is what SHE loves, bless her heart. And speaking of her heart, Angelie has also told me that she carries extra food around with her to give to the beggars on the street that have children with them (many carry babies in their arms or tied to their backs to enhance their neediness factor). Said she can't stand the thought of kids going hungry. Amazing!
Anyway, I digress. She then asked me to lay down so I again complied. She massaged my head and face at that point. I felt my body became warm and relaxed, just taking in her gentle care. Finally, she stood me up, and firmly, but gently, started pounding my body from head to toe ("Must get Chi moving!!"). I do not exaggerate when I say she spent over a half hour tending to my physical body in the most lovely way. Finally, she sat me back down on the sofa and handed me my coffee cup .... I didn't even mind that it had grown cold. "You sit. You relax. Maybe sleep again." What an angel. I immediately had the thought that I wonder how I could take her to come home with us!
And Angelie has the most amazing attitude. It does seem that no matter what we talk about, we come to a point in the conversation where she declares, "Make no sense to think about bad things. Only think good thoughts. Think good thoughts, more good comes. Think bad thoughts, bad comes!" Now there, my friends, is a wise woman. And when you think about what Angelie has been through, it's even more incredible.
Angelie is a divorced woman which is indeed a rare thing in Shanghai. I do not know the particulars of her divorce but I know her husband took their young son with him and left Angelie to move in with his parents (probably intimidated by her intelligence but that's just speculation on my part). Now China is still very much a patriarchal society, and that means if you are a woman, you still have very few rights. It's getting better but by only baby steps. As soon as Angelie's husband moved in with his parents, HIS father became the boss. Angelie was then refused all rights to have a relationship with her son. All her attempts to visit him were spurned and there is literally nothing she can do about it.
Recently, Angelie was contacted by her child's grandmother and teacher to say that the boy was having some problems in school, both with learning and behavior. The teacher felt quite certain that it had something to do with the fact that he missed his mother (Andrew is 11 or 12 now). So between the teacher and the grandmother, they were able to arrange some short visits (30 minutes) for Angelie. The grandfather has not been happy about this situation but the effect was immediate. Andrew has been doing much better. Of course, when Angelie went this last Sunday for her visit with Andrew, the grandfather met her at the door to say that "Boy is doing better so you no need to visit again." But a fragile truce has been arranged between Angelie and the grandmother. If Grandpa is not home, Angelie is allowed a visit.
But in her typical Buddhist philosophy, Angelie refuses to see this as a problem. "Only look at good. Not think about bad. Cannot change bad, so no think about." I wish we could bottle her attitude and give it to the world as a tonic. She is happy to have a good job, happy about having even sporadic short visits with her son, happy to have employers she loves and who return that love. Happy to make dumplings!! And we're happy to eat them .... and drink in her goodness. Bless her beautiful heart and her talented hands. And we're so blessed to have her in our lives and her light shining on us for even a short time.
Where should I start in my accolades of Angelie. First off, Angelie took it upon herself to take on additional duties while I was away in the states with very little prompting. That is to say, some of things I normally do that are not part of her weekly routine were accomplished. We only had brief discussions about this before I left for the Thanksgiving holiday but she is so smart and quick that I really needn't have worried. Bed linens were laundered and changed, Randy's laundry was washed, ironed (I hate ironing!!), and put away in the correct places. Plants were watered, turned, trimmed, and given loving care. But best of all, nothing was missing!!! For me, this was the true test of character. It does seem normal practice to discover items missing after having an ayi for a certain period of time. But no worries with Angelie. She is about as honest a person as I've met.
Shortly after Christmas, Angelie presented me with a grocery list. "Please obtain items, and I will make dumpling for you and boss." OK. This piqued my interest because Angelie's dumplings are legendary among her clients. And we had yet to experience this culinary delight. She'd even gone to the trouble of writing down some of the ingredients in Chinese (both characters AND Pin yang) so we would be sure to get the correct items in the correct quantity.
Randy and I took off on foot on a Saturday morning to the wet market across the street. Other than the meat (which CAN be obtained at the wet market but we're a little leery of the open tables of meat that are pawed through by people and pooped on by flies all day), we could get everything we needed there (carrot, mushroom, cilantro, leek, chives). Picked up the meat later (dumplings can be made with chicken, pork, beef, or shrimp ... or can be meatless too) at the City Shop and we were good to go. Angelie had left instructions that I should let her know when the ingredients were obtained because maybe she'd come sooner than her normal Tuesday morning to make the dumplings. So I sent a text message. She said she'd come an hour early on Tuesday. I started thinking, "Gosh, she already comes at 7:15 AM." And given the fact that she comes from a great distance, she'd have to get up in the middle of the night to get here that early.
So I sent her a message to come on Monday evening after work and just spend the night in our guest room. OK, this would be fine. Around 7:30 on Monday, I received a text that she would be later than expected because her bike was stolen. Oh, I was SO mad!! Angelie is such a good person, works so hard, and is MOST honest, and of course SHE is the one to have her bike nabbed. After Angelie arrived, we chatted about the bike situation. She said she always locks her bike by the guard shack at this particular location where she works three days a week, feeling that this is probably the most safe area. Of course, she asked the guards if they knew of the whereabouts of her bike. The answer was that it was NOT their responsibility to look after her bike! Of course.
To be honest, it seemed I was more distressed about this than Angelie. She is just the most pleasant, serene, and caring person I have ever met. I kept going on and on about how unpleasant this situation was for her, and she was completely calm about the entire thing. Randy and I discussed helping her out with another bike which was rejected entirely. No, Angelie had an old bike that might need some repair, and that would have to do. I told her we'd pay to have the old bike repaired. "We'll see," was the reply.
On Tuesday morning, about 8 boxed servings of dumplings were sitting in our freezer after about an hour's work. Again, I offered extra money for her efforts .... NO WAY!! "I love making dumpling!! I love for you enjoy them!!" Randy fried them with some rice and vegetables later for dinner .... as Rachel Ray would say, "YUMMO!!!" They were certainly up to the hype! We had them again a few days later as part of the chicken vegetable soup Randy made that weekend.
The next Tuesday, Angelie arrived promptly as usual bundled up so as to look like the Pillsbury Doughboy or the Michelin Man. It's been brutally cold here lately (two nights ago, the low was 17 which is the lowest I've seen it since being in Shanghai). But Angelie's sunny disposition warmed the room immediately. Her first announcement warmed us even further .... the bike was returned to her!! Apparently, it was found in the garden area of the compound from whence it was stolen. She figures that the thieves couldn't finagle a way past the guard shack so decided to abandon it. In the meantime, she HAD gotten the old bike repaired, so now she has back-up. Great news!!
Well, I'd had a rough night. Not sleeping well, up and down, finally taking a sleeping pill which did the trick. But of course, waking up in the morning was an issue. Angelie watched me pad around the apartment a bit, and when I came past her to get a cup of coffee, she removed her hands from the sink full of suds and dried them off. She then took the cup from me and took one of MY hands, and led me to the sofa where she instructed me to sit down. I sat. She then proceeded to start massaging my neck, shoulders, and back. Oh .... groan!! I mean groan in a GOOD way!! I asked Angelie where she learned to do this. She said, "I read books. I even take test." I think to myself why isn't she working as a masseuse but then realize that taking care of people she loves (and Angelie always seems to grow to love her employers) is what SHE loves, bless her heart. And speaking of her heart, Angelie has also told me that she carries extra food around with her to give to the beggars on the street that have children with them (many carry babies in their arms or tied to their backs to enhance their neediness factor). Said she can't stand the thought of kids going hungry. Amazing!
Anyway, I digress. She then asked me to lay down so I again complied. She massaged my head and face at that point. I felt my body became warm and relaxed, just taking in her gentle care. Finally, she stood me up, and firmly, but gently, started pounding my body from head to toe ("Must get Chi moving!!"). I do not exaggerate when I say she spent over a half hour tending to my physical body in the most lovely way. Finally, she sat me back down on the sofa and handed me my coffee cup .... I didn't even mind that it had grown cold. "You sit. You relax. Maybe sleep again." What an angel. I immediately had the thought that I wonder how I could take her to come home with us!
And Angelie has the most amazing attitude. It does seem that no matter what we talk about, we come to a point in the conversation where she declares, "Make no sense to think about bad things. Only think good thoughts. Think good thoughts, more good comes. Think bad thoughts, bad comes!" Now there, my friends, is a wise woman. And when you think about what Angelie has been through, it's even more incredible.
Angelie is a divorced woman which is indeed a rare thing in Shanghai. I do not know the particulars of her divorce but I know her husband took their young son with him and left Angelie to move in with his parents (probably intimidated by her intelligence but that's just speculation on my part). Now China is still very much a patriarchal society, and that means if you are a woman, you still have very few rights. It's getting better but by only baby steps. As soon as Angelie's husband moved in with his parents, HIS father became the boss. Angelie was then refused all rights to have a relationship with her son. All her attempts to visit him were spurned and there is literally nothing she can do about it.
Recently, Angelie was contacted by her child's grandmother and teacher to say that the boy was having some problems in school, both with learning and behavior. The teacher felt quite certain that it had something to do with the fact that he missed his mother (Andrew is 11 or 12 now). So between the teacher and the grandmother, they were able to arrange some short visits (30 minutes) for Angelie. The grandfather has not been happy about this situation but the effect was immediate. Andrew has been doing much better. Of course, when Angelie went this last Sunday for her visit with Andrew, the grandfather met her at the door to say that "Boy is doing better so you no need to visit again." But a fragile truce has been arranged between Angelie and the grandmother. If Grandpa is not home, Angelie is allowed a visit.
But in her typical Buddhist philosophy, Angelie refuses to see this as a problem. "Only look at good. Not think about bad. Cannot change bad, so no think about." I wish we could bottle her attitude and give it to the world as a tonic. She is happy to have a good job, happy about having even sporadic short visits with her son, happy to have employers she loves and who return that love. Happy to make dumplings!! And we're happy to eat them .... and drink in her goodness. Bless her beautiful heart and her talented hands. And we're so blessed to have her in our lives and her light shining on us for even a short time.
posted by Roxanne Gillett at
5:52 PM
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